The Way We Were… Family

The best part of this year and possibly of many years was when we were unemployed for a couple of months. Surprising hey? Yeah sure I was on fuel rations, didn’t go anywhere or spend anything. But I didn’t have to cause I had my husband ALL to myself. Everyday we would wake up together, eat breakfast as a family, sometimes we took turns sleeping in. We would spend time in the garden, planting vegies, playing with chooks, talking about chooks (that’s what happens when you have chooks). There was no where we had to be, but we were still very productive and worked on things together. We didn’t just lay around watching TV series after TV series (we haven’t had a TV in years) we were one as a family and moved through the day together.

We had just been through many weeks of being apart, Adrian working away and it had been horrible and we realised that we could never do a job that separated us. So the jobs ended and nothing more happened so we were together for week after week after week. We were so available to help out with stuff, to do all things you never have time or energy for when work takes up 5 days of your week. When you don’t have money you have time. When you have lots of money you often don’t have time. Its usually one or the other. But you always have something to give, time or money. You usually have a great sex life too when you’ve got no money (or maybe that’s just me) lol Best things in life are free right?Thank goodness!

Looking back I miss that waking up together and doing the day together (my husbands back at work now) I feel like I got a glimpse of how it was meant to be for everyone all the time. To work together as a family, to work BESIDE each other. I guess that’s how it used to be, we used to be self sustainable. You work for yourself, on your lands with your family, you grow your food, you herd your animals. Wife and husband aren’t just bound by “feelings” but by survival, you have to work it out to keep going, make more children to increase your capacity and productivity. Lots of siblings meant lots of friends, lots of sisters meant we were surrounded by support and the change from girl to woman to mother was not such a big deal, you saw your sister or cousin give birth, heck you helped her! You probably saw your mum do it. Being a mother was apart of normal life not the massive change it is today, just the normal process of a womans life. Men felt good cause they felt that primal satisfaction in providing food and shelter for their family (this is why camping rocks for my husband) and they spent time with their kids cause they worked with them. Everyone contributes and as children grew up they grew up watching their father and mother work outside or in the tents preparing food (ahhh tent life lol) learning and absorbing the most valuable lessons from them. Togetherness.. People work better when what they do directly effects them, when it comes down to, if you don’t go out and sow these seeds we will have no food and die more people will work haha Yes it was tough and life and death were very real things but sometimes I think did they live more wholeheartedly? Did they give it their all in what they did? Cause if they didn’t there was often no second chance. There was no supermarket, no currency, no doctor or pain relief. Did they ever question what their purpose in life was like we constantly do every week? Everyday working, eating, laughing, crying beside the closest people in their lives, family.

tent 2

It will probably  never go back that way. It feels like someone is making sure that families become more and more separated, that we live in a world that doesn’t even like to live near their families a lot of the time. To much drama, to much expectation, easy to be far away by yourself. In fact being completely by yourself would sometimes seem like bliss. BUT that’s actually wrong! We don’t want to feel separation, isolation, we were made for family!

Most days my husband spends working in a workplace for someone else, I’m home by myself looking after the kids. Some families have two parents working so I guess that would feel more apart. Mummies often feel alone, dad’s often feel tired and wished they could spend more time with their wives and kids. Being together feels so good right? Being alone feels crap even if its just for 8 hrs a day 5 days a week.

So I ponder on these things every now again and I hope one day in whatever I feel God calling us to do as a family, calling us out of wilderness into his wilderness, I hope that I’ll get to wake up everyday, eat breakfast with them, laugh and cry as we work side by side.

To my sister, you may be driving to your new home many hours away but we will be together again soon! To my family, not just the ones under my roof, may we share a tent one day! I love ALL of you. jess xx

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